How to Overcome Procrastination Without More Willpower
Sometimes procrastination is simply exhaustion.
Procrastination is one of the biggest challenges I see with the clients I work with. People know what they want to do. They often know exactly what they need to do. But for some reason, they still can't get themselves to start.
So I decided to dig a little deeper into what is actually happening when we procrastinate.
And what I've been finding is interesting.
Procrastination often isn't a problem with motivation, discipline, or time management. Sometimes, we aren't avoiding the task at all. We're avoiding how the task makes us feel.
What Are You Really Avoiding?
Think about something you've been putting off.
Maybe it's sending an uncomfortable email, applying for a new job, starting an exercise routine, making an appointment, organizing your finances, or finally beginning a project you care about.
Now ask yourself:
What do I feel when I think about doing it?
Maybe it's overwhelm, boredom, fear of failure, perfectionism, uncertainty, or self-doubt.
When we avoid the task, that uncomfortable feeling temporarily goes away. Our brain gets a little relief.
But the task doesn't disappear.
And eventually we add guilt and frustration to the original uncomfortable feeling.
Or Maybe You’re Simply Tired
There's another possibility we don't talk about enough.
Sometimes you're not avoiding an uncomfortable feeling.
You're mentally exhausted.
After a long day of meetings, decisions, caregiving, problem-solving, or simply managing life, something that would have felt easy in the morning can feel enormous by late afternoon.
That's why it's important to ask:
Am I avoiding this because it feels uncomfortable, or do I genuinely not have the mental energy for it right now?
Those are two different problems and require two different solutions.
Instead of Pushing Harder, Get Curious
The next time you catch yourself procrastinating, try asking yourself:
What am I feeling about this task?
Am I avoiding discomfort, or am I depleted?
What is the smallest possible next step?
Then make the next step incredibly specific.
Don't tell yourself:
“I need to finish my application.”
Try:
“After breakfast tomorrow, I'll open the application and answer one question.”
One question feels very different from finish the application.
Stop Adding Shame to the Task
This may be the most important part.
When we've been procrastinating, we tend to start criticizing ourselves.
Why haven't I done this yet?
Why can't I just get things done?
I should be further along.
Now the original task has another layer attached to it: shame.
Instead, try replacing judgment with curiosity:
“This clearly feels difficult for me. What's making it difficult?”
That doesn't mean you're letting yourself off the hook. You're figuring out what's actually getting in the way so you can do something about it.
Try This Today
Think of one thing you've been putting off.
Instead of asking:
“How am I going to get this done?”
Ask:
“What is making me avoid this, and what is the smallest thing I could do to move it forward?”
Five minutes.
One phone call.
One paragraph.
One email.
One decision.
Sometimes meaningful change doesn't begin with more motivation.
It begins with understanding what's keeping us stuck and making the next step small enough to take.
Start Small. Dream Big. Transform Boldly.
Until next time,
Wendy Wheeler
