How to Silence Your Inner Critic
Behind every harsh thought is the chance to rewrite your story.
We are often our own worst enemies. The voice in our head—the inner critic—can be louder than the voices of any boss, partner, peer, or even a life coach. It reminds us of past mistakes, replays stories that no longer serve us, and convinces us that we’re not good enough. Over time, we start to believe it. We stay stuck in jobs, relationships, or routines we dislike because the critic whispers, “This is as good as it gets.” Or worse: “You don’t deserve better.” “You’ll just fail again.” “Who do you think you are to want more?”
But here’s the truth: the inner critic is not the truth. It’s a story, often rooted in old wounds or outdated beliefs. And you can learn to turn down its volume.
Step 1: Recognize the Voice
The inner critic often speaks in absolutes: “You always mess things up.” “You’ll never change.” “Everyone else has it figured out but you.” The first step is to notice when this voice shows up. Simply labeling it—“That’s my inner critic talking”—creates space between you and the thought.
Step 2: Separate Facts From Stories
Much of what the inner critic says isn’t based on fact—it’s based on fear. Ask yourself: What is actually happening right now, and what is my mind making up? For example, “I didn’t get that job” is a fact. “I’ll never get hired again” is a story. Separating the two helps break free from recycled narratives that no longer serve you.
Step 3: Rewrite the Script
Instead of accepting the critic’s script, write your own. If your inner voice says, “You’ll never find a better job,” replace it with, “I have the skills, experience, and resilience to create a new chapter.” If it says, “Who do you think you are to want more?” shift it to, “I’m allowed to want more, and I’m capable of creating it.” Over time, these new affirmations crowd out the old patterns.
Step 4: Take Small Bold Actions
The inner critic thrives when you stay frozen. It feeds on thoughts like, “If you try, you’ll just embarrass yourself.” One of the best antidotes is action. Small steps—updating a résumé, signing up for a class, asking for help—prove the critic wrong. Each action you take reinforces the truth that you are capable, resilient, and moving forward.
Step 5: Build a Support System
Your critic may say, “No one cares about what you’re going through.” That’s a lie. Surround yourself with people who remind you of your strengths—friends, mentors, or a coach. Borrow their belief in you until it becomes your own. Outside voices of encouragement help drown out the inner voice of doubt.
Step 6: Practice Compassion
When the critic shows up, don’t try to fight it with more criticism. If it says, “You’re weak for feeling this way,” meet it with kindness: “I see you. I know you’re trying to protect me, but I’ve got this.” Compassion disarms the critic and strengthens your inner coach—the voice that says, “You are enough, and you are worthy of more.”
5-Minute Inner Critic Check-In
The next time your inner critic gets loud, try this quick exercise:
Pause and Notice – Write down the exact words your critic just said.
Fact vs. Story – Ask: Is this fact, or is this my mind making up a story?
Flip the Script – Rewrite the statement as if your best friend or coach were talking to you instead.
Take One Small Action – Do one thing—big or small—that proves the critic wrong.
✨ Repeat this daily. Over time, you’ll train your brain to listen less to the critic and more to the coach within you.
✨ Life Coaching Insight:
Silencing your inner critic isn’t about never hearing it again—it’s about refusing to let it run the show. When you catch its messages (“You’ll never succeed,” “This is all you deserve”), separate fact from fiction, and take small, bold actions, you free yourself from old stories and open the door to a life you truly love.
Until Next TIme,
Wendy Wheeler
