The 4 Phases of Retirement And the Journey Back to Ourselves
Most retirement advice focuses on how much you need to save. Almost none prepares you for what it feels like to finally have the time.
My friend Ni sent me the TEDxSurrey talk “The 4 Phases of Retirement” by Dr. Riley Moynes:
I watched it, and within minutes I thought this is exactly it.
It put words to something I had already lived through but hadn’t fully articulated.
Retirement isn’t just a moment where you stop working.
It’s a transition. A process. A reshaping of your life.
And for me, one thread ran through every phase
I kept exploring.
Through travel.
Through learning.
Through saying yes to experiences that stretched me.
Sunrise over Cappadocia, Turkey. Floating above it all, fully in the moment. This was my vacation phase in its purest form.
Phase 1: The Vacation
This is the phase everyone dreams about.
Freedom.
No alarms.
No meetings.
No deadlines.
For me, this phase wasn’t just staying home and relaxing.
I went all in.
I spent three months traveling through India and Turkey.
New cultures. New rhythms. New perspectives.
But even in this “vacation” phase, I wasn’t just unplugging
I was learning.
I took yoga and meditation classes
I studied breathwork
I read books that I had never had time for before
I spent time reflecting in ways I never could in my previous life
And something else was quietly happening.
In Phase 1, I had already started coaching people, but I didn’t yet realize that this was the path I was meant to follow.
It felt expansive. Eye opening.
And yet, even with all that freedom and exploration, something deeper hadn’t quite clicked yet.
Phase 2: The Loss
Then I came home.
And almost immediately, I felt it.
Something was missing.
After a lifetime of high stress, structured roles, my days had always been full of purpose, responsibility, and interaction.
Now there was space. A lot of it.
And while I continued to explore on the outside, travel, read, take classes on the inside, I felt a shift.
The learning became more intentional.
I started asking bigger questions:
What do I actually want my days to look like
What brings me a sense of meaning
Who am I without my role or title
I read more.
I took different kinds of classes.
I paid attention to what resonated and what didn’t.
This phase wasn’t about doing more. It was about understanding myself more deeply.
Teaching yoga at an orphanage in Jaipur, India. This was part of my exploration phase.
Phase 3: The Exploration
This is where everything started to come together.
All the travel, the learning, the reading, the classes
they weren’t random.
They were clues.
I realized something that had always been there, but I hadn’t fully claimed.
I loved working with people.
I loved helping others navigate change.
I loved being part of someone’s growth.
So I started experimenting in a new way.
I began coaching part time.
And I kept exploring alongside it:
Continuing to travel when I felt called to
Taking new courses to deepen my understanding
Reading books on personal growth, transitions, and meaning
Having conversations with people about their lives, not just their careers
Not everything landed perfectly.
Some things didn’t fit.
But I stayed open.
Because this phase isn’t about getting it right
it’s about discovering what feels right.
Phase 4: Reinvention
Over time, what started as exploration became something more grounded.
I didn’t just fill my time
I reshaped my life.
My coaching business became a meaningful part of my days. Not because I needed to work, but because it aligned with who I am.
And even here, the exploration hasn’t stopped.
I still:
Travel and seek out new experiences
Take classes that expand how I think and feel
Read constantly
Stay curious about what else is possible
Because reinvention isn’t a one time decision.
It’s an ongoing process of:
learning
evolving
choosing intentionally how you want to live
What I Know Now
Looking back, every phase had purpose.
The travel wasn’t just travel.
The classes weren’t just classes.
The books weren’t just books.
One important thing I’ve learned is that these phases don’t always happen in a perfect order. You can move back and forth between them, revisit earlier phases, or experience parts of multiple phases at the same time.
They were all part of the process of finding my way back to myself.
Retirement isn’t about stopping.
It’s about creating space to rediscover who you are.
And that doesn’t happen all at once.
It happens:
through experience
through curiosity
through being willing to keep exploring
If You’re in This Place Right Now
If something feels off, you’re not doing it wrong.
You may just be in the middle of your own transition.
And transitions can feel uncomfortable before they feel clear.
If you’re trying to figure out what this next chapter looks like for you, you don’t have to do it alone.
I offer free consultations where we can talk through where you are, what feels missing, and what might be trying to emerge for you next.
Sometimes one conversation is all it takes to start seeing things differently.
Reach out when you’re ready.
